SITFUSO

My email was read on CBBC!

Fri, 16 May 2008 09:10:58 GMT

Yesterday, a Children's BBC presenter read my email to the nation and a puppet cactus foretold my future!

You can see it here -

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=emRFta0bHfE

stuff

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 19:58:45 GMT

California

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:11:52 GMT

I'm off to Sacramento, California for two weeks in April.

I'd love to listen to some proper mental noise and do some dancing.

Sacramento would probably be best to meet up with old friends and go out for a proper mental time.

I might also be tempted to drive a few old friends to San Francisco, for a proper insane techno night, if it looks interesting the week I am there.

Anyone know where I can listen to some noize, and anyone up for going along with me?

If not, how about a proper old chill out around someone's house and talking bollocks?

Cheers

noize

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 11:20:45 GMT

Long Journey's End

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 23:50:32 GMT

On Thursday, 22nd November 2007, I met with a representative of Her Majesty The Queen.

We talked of Oxfordshire, we talked about the Union Jack flag, we sang God Save The Queen, and then he handed me a Certificate of Citizenship.

A very long journey, a goal of a lifetime.
British at last.

And having taken an oath to Her Majesty, it is my understanding that I am now compelled to kill Roundheads and Republicans as I find them.

But my main duties will be drinking tea, eating biscuits, drinking pints, laughing at terrorists, grumbling about the weather, and hanging on in quiet desperation.

Brief conquest

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 14:31:22 GMT

My brief conquest of the Yorkshire Tea website

Powered by tea

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 12:44:40 GMT

Okay back from the test!

The invigilator had a good laugh as I completed the 24 questions in 115 seconds.

I can't BELIEVE that's correct, it FELT like 180 seconds at least.

The very first question on my British Citizenship Exam was -

"What sport is played at the FA Cup Final?"

I gave a laugh and zipped through all the questions which were of roughly the same difficulty.

I had to wait half an hour to get my results, and they were ---

100%

YAY!!!!

24 out of 24!

So I was given a letter from the Home Office which says that the Home Office believes I have the cultural and English language knowledge to become a citizen.

The Home Office can not make me a citizen though, only the Queen can.

So basically I need to send off some forms and the letter from the Home Office which explains my test results.

In about 3 months I will be invited to a ceremony where apparently I will meet a minor royal, I will make an oath to her majesty, sing the national anthem, have a nice cup of tea, and be presented with a royal decree of British Citizenship.

Think I'll get to filling out the forms Tuesday or Wednesday.

Gunna go on the piss and party for a few days.

OH! And I've decided to rave it up John Steed style. Went out and bought myself a bowler hat and a long black umbrella with a wooden hook handle.

Where to hang it???

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 21:29:51 GMT

I felt a bit bummed yesterday so I went out and bought myself a

Not sure where I'll put her. Probably no place that makes sense in the house right now, and I can't imagine my co-workers NOT taking the piss out of me for the next ten years if I bring her into work and hang her up there.

Oh well.

notes

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 12:26:10 GMT

In 2005 the population of the United Kingdom was just under 60 million people.

England (84% of the population) 50.1 million
Scotland (8% of the population) 5.1 million
Wales (5% of the population) 2.9 million
N. Ireland (3% of the population) 1.7 million
TOTAL UK 59.8 million

The population has grown by 7.7% since 1971, and growth has been faster in more recent years. Although the general population in the UK has increased in the last 20 years, in some areas such as the North-East and North West of England there has been a decline.

Both the birth rate and death rate are falling and as a result the UK now has an ageing population. For instance, there are more people over 60 than children under 16. There is also a record number of people ages 85 and older.

A census is a count of the whole population. It also collects statistics on such topics as age, place of birth, occupation, ethnicity, housing, health, and martial status.

A census has been taken ever 10 years since 1801, except during the second World War. The next census will take place in 2011.

During a census, a form is delivered to every household in the country. This form asks for detailed information about each member of the household and must be completed by law. the information remians confidential and anonymous; it can only be released to the public after 100 years, when many people researching their family history find it very useful. General census information is used to identify population trends ans to help planning.

The UK population is ethnically diverse and changing rapidly, especially in large cities such as London, so it is not always easy to get an exact picture of the ethnic origin of all the population from census statistics. Each of the four countries of the UK (England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland) has different customs, attitudes and histories.

People of Indian, Pakistani, Chinese, Black Caribbean, Black African, Bangladeshi, and mixed ethnic descent make up 8.3% of the UK population. Today about half the members of these communities were born in the United Kingdom.

There are also considerable numbers of people resident in the UK who are Irish, Italian, Greek and Turkish Cypriot, Polish, Australian, Canadian, New Zealand and American descent. Large numbers have also arrived since 2004 from the new East European member states of the European Union.

UK population 2001

White (icluding people of European,
Australian, American descent) 54.2 million 92%

Mixed 0.7 million 1.2%

Indian 1.1 million 1.8%

Pakistani 0.7 million 1.3%

Bangladeshi 0.3 million 0.5%

Other Asian 0.2 million 0.4%

Black Caribbean 0.6 million 1.0%

Black African 0.5 million 0.8%

Black Other 0.1 million 0.2%

Chinese 0.2 million 0.4%

Other 0.2 million 0.4%

more notes

Thu, 31 May 2007 21:08:50 GMT

Young people in Britain can vote in elections from the age of 18. In the 2001 general election, however, only 1 in 5 first-time voters used their vote. There has been great debate over the reasons for this. Some researchers think that one reason is that young people are not interested in the political process.

Although most young people show little interest in party politics, there is strong evidence that many are interested in specific issues should as the environment and cruelty to animals.

In 2003 a survey of young people in England and Wales showed that they believe the five most important issues in Britain were crime, drugs, war/terrorism, racism, and health. The same survey asked young people about their participation in political and community events. They found that 86% of young people had taken part in some form of community event over the past year, and 50% had taken part in fund-raising or collecting money for charity. Similar results have been found in surveys in Scotland and Northern Ireland. Many children first get involved in these activities while at school where they study Citizenship as part of the National Curriculum.

nerdfest

Thu, 31 May 2007 13:34:23 GMT

Went out and bought myself a sonic screwdriver and some psychic paper!

Been nagging people with it all day.

FUN!

More notes

Wed, 30 May 2007 22:16:41 GMT

It is common for young people to have a part-time job while they are still at school. It is thought there are 2 million children at work at any one time. The most common jobs are newspaper delivery and work in supermarkets and newsagents. Many parents believe that part-time work helps children to become more independent as well as providing them (and sometimes their families) with extra income.

There are laws about the age when children can take up paid work (usually not before 14), the type of work they can do and the number of hours they can work.

It is very important to note that there are concerns for the safety of children who work illegally or who are not properly supervised and the employment of children is strictly controlled by law.

Many parents worry that their children may misuse drugs and addictive substances.

Although cigarette smoking has fallen in the adult population, more young people are smoking, and more girls smoke than boys. By law, it is illegal to sell tabacco products to anyone under 16 years old. In some areas, smoking in pubic buildings and work environments is not allowed.

Youn people under the age of 18 are not allowed to buy alcohol in Britain, but there is concern about the age some young people start drinking alcohol and the amount of alcohol they drink at one time, known as binge drinking. It is illegal to be drunk in public and there are not more penalties to help control this problem, including on-the-spot fines.

As in most countries, it is illegal to possess drugs such as heroin, cocaine, ecsasty, amphetamines, and cannabis. Current statistics show that half of all young adults, and about a third of the population as a whole, have used illegal drugs at one time or another.

There is a strong link between the use of hard drugs (e.g. crack cocaine and heroin) and crime, and also hard drugs and mental illness. This misuse of drugs has a huge social and financial cost for the country. This is a serious issue and British society needs to find an effective way of dealing with the problem.

Education in Britain is free and compulsory, and that there is compulsory testing (In England and Scotland) at ages 7, 11, and 14; there are also GCSE and/or vocational exams at 16; and advanced level exams (A and AS) at ages 17 and 18.

There is a government target that half of all young peopl attend higher education.

Young people are eligible to vote in elections from age 18.

It MUST be Good Luck

Tue, 22 May 2007 13:33:47 GMT

Well, booked my citizenship test on the earliest available date -

July
Friday the 13th

Fri, 04 May 2007 19:44:49 GMT

In the UK there are almost 15 million children and young people up to the age of 19. This is almost one-quarter of the UK population.

Over the last 20 years, family patterns in Britain have been transformed because of changing attitudes towards divorce and seperation. Today, 65% of children live with both parents, almost 25% live in lone-parent families, and 10% live within a stepfamily. Most children in Britain receive weekly pocket money from their parents and many get extra money for doing jobs around the house.

Children in the UK do not play outside the home as much as they did in the past. Part of the reason for this is increased home entertainment such as television, videos and computers. There is also increased concern for children's safety and there are many stories in newspapers about child molestation by strangers, but there is no evidence that this kind of danger is increasing.

Young people have different identities, interests and fashions to older people. Many young people movie away from their family home when they become adults but this varies from one community to another.

The law states that children between the ages of 5 and 16 must attend school. The tests that pupils take are very important, and in England and Scotland children take national tests in English, mathematics and science when they are 7, 11 and 14 years old. (In Wales, teachers assess children's progress when they are 7 and 11 and they take a nation test at the age of 14). The tests give important information about children's progress and achievement, the subjects they are doing wel in and the areas where they need extra help.

Most young people take the General Certificate of Secondary Education (GCSE), or, in Scotland, Scottish Qualifications Authority (SQA) Standard Grade examinations when they are 16. At age 17 and 18, many take vocational qualifications, General Certificates of Education at an Advanced level (AGCEs), AS level units or Higher/Advanced Higher Grades in Scotland.
Schools and colleges will expect good GCSE or SQA Standard Grade results before allowing a student to enrol on an AGCE or Scottish Higher/Advanced Higher course.

AS levels are Advanced Subsidiary qualifications gained by completing three AS units. Three AS units are considered as one-half of an AGCE. In the second part of the course, three more AS units can be studied to complete the AGCE qualification.

Many people refer to AGCEs by the old name of A levels. AGCEs are the traditional route for entry to higher education courses, but many higher education students enter with different kinds of qualifications.

One in three young people now go on to higher education at college or university. Some young people defer their university entrance for a year and take a 'gap year'. This year out of education often includes voluntary work and travel overseas. Some young people work to earn and save money to pay for their university fees and living expenses.

People over 16 years of age many also choose to study at Colleges of Further Education or Adult Education Centres. There is a wide range of academic and vocational courses as well as courses which develop leisure interests and skills.

Thu, 03 May 2007 16:45:40 GMT

In 19th century Britain, families were usually large and in many poorer homes men, women, and children all contributed towards the family income. Although they made an important economic contribution women in Britain had fewer rights than men. Until 1857, a married woman had no right to divorce her husband. Until 1882, women a woman got married, her earnings, property and money automatically belonged to her husband.

In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, an increasing number of women campaigned and demonstrated for greater rights and, in particular, the right to vote. They became known as 'Suffragettes'. These protests decreased during the First World War because women joined in the war effort and therefore did a much greater variety of work than they had before. When the First World War ended in 1918, women over the age of 30 were finally given the right to vote and stand for election to Parliament. It was not until 1928 that women won the right to vote at 21, the same age as men.

Despite improvements, women still faced discrimination in the workplace. For example, ir was quite common for employers to ask women to leave their jobs when they got married. Many jobs were closed to women and it was difficult for women to enter universities. During the 1960s and 1970s there was increasing pressure from women for equal rights. Parliament passed new loaws giving women the right to equal pay and prohibiting employers from discriminating against women because of their sex.

Women in Britiain today make up 51% of the population and 45% of the workforce. These days girls leave school, on average, with better qualifications than boys, and there are now more women than men at university.

Employment opportunities for women are not much greater than they were in the past. Although women continue to be employed in traditional female areas such as healthcare, teaching, secretarial and retail work, there is strong evidence that attitudes are changing and women are now active in a much wider range of work than before. Research shows that very few people today believe that women in Britain should stay at home and not go out to work. Today, almost three-quarters of women with school-age children are in paid work.

In most households, women continue to have the main responsibility for childcare and housework. There is evidence that there is now greater equality in homes and that more men are taking some responsibilty for raising the family and doing housework. Despite this progress, many people believe that more needs to be done to achieve greater equality for women. There are still examples of discrimination against women, particularly in the workplace, despite laws that exist to prevent it. Women still do not always have the same access to promotion and better-paid jobs. The average hourly pay rate for women is 20% less than for men, and after leaving university most women still earn less than men.

Wed, 02 May 2007 17:15:21 GMT

Many people living in Britain today have their origins in other countries. They can trace their roots to regions throughout the world such as Europe, the Middle East, Africa, Asia, and the Caribbean. In the distant past invaders came to Britain, seized land and stayed. More recently, people come to Britain to find safety, jobs, and a better life.

Britain is proud of its tradition of offering safety to people who are escaping persecution and hardship. For example, in the 16th and 18th centuries, Huguenots (French Protestants) came to Britain to escape persecution in France. In the mid-1840s there was a terrible famine in Ireland and many Irish people migrated to Britain. Many Irish men became labourers and helped build canals and railways across Britain.

From 1880 to 1910, a large number of Jewish people came to Britain to escape racist attacks (called 'pogroms') in what was then called the Russian Empire and from the countries now called Poland, Ukraine, and Belarus.

After the Second World War (1939-45), there was a huge task of rebuilding Britain. There were not enough people to do the work, so the British government encouraged workers from Ireland and other parts of Europe to come to the UK to heklp with reconstruction. In 1948, people from the West Indies were also invited to come and work.

During the 1950s, there was still a shortage of labour in the UK. The UK encourage immigration in the 1950s for economic reasons and many industries advertised for workers from overseas. For example, centres were set up in the West Indies to recruit people to drive buses. Textile and engineering firms from the north of England and the midlands sent agents to India and Pakistan to find workers. For about 25 years, people from the West Indies, India, Pakistan and later Bangladesh, travelled to work and settle in Britain.

The number of people immigrating from these areas fell in the late 1960s because the government passed new laws to restrict immigration to Britain, although immigrants from 'old' commonwealth countries such as Australia, New Zealand, and Canada did not have to face such strict control. During the time, however, Britain did admit 28,000 people of Indian origin who had been forced to leave Uganda and 22,000 refugees from South East Asia.

In the 1980s the largest immigrant groups came from the United States, Australia, South Africa, and New Zealand. In the early 1990s people from the former Soviet Union came to Britain looking for a new and safer way of life. Since 1994 there has been a global rise in mass-migration for both political and economic reasons.

British Citizenship Test

Wed, 02 May 2007 16:54:02 GMT

I'm going to take the British Citizenship Test soon, so I'm gunna post my notes here.

If you wanna know what the British government thinks you need to know to be a citizen just check here.

Would love to talk about the data, just to get it into my head!

MySpace Madness

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 10:26:34 GMT

WEIRD!

It seems that MySpace has some strange double life going on.

When I first heard about the site, it was from a tough as nails Manchester DJ who would happily break you in two. It was made pretty clear that MySpace was a serious networking site for musicians across the UK and Europe. I use it to track my favorite bands and DJs, to see when they'll be playing live at an accessible venue and to listen to their latest demo or radio edit.

Now I mentioned MySpace to my American friends and they were shocked and appalled. As Americans seem to think MySpace is a vacuous teenie site.

It seems to have two totally different reputations.

I like MySpace as a musical networking tool, and that's how I used it.

My music is beyond amateurish and horrible, but I'm still learning how to use synths.

To make up for my lack of talent, I try to keep things a little silly and odd, give some kinda novelty value to what I'm doing until I actually produce something competent.

But if you want to know what kinda' noise I've been working on AND what club nights I'm going to, you can always check -

http://www.myspace.com/hardcoreukraver

Just click the images and the noise will blare.

Jade Goody has gone to INDIA!

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 18:17:50 GMT

Umm if you don't know who Jade Goody is....god bless you, PLEASE DON'T GOOGLE HER.
She's not worth your time.

For everyone else....wow, I can't BELIEVE she actually went to India.

I spoofed this newspage, I think it's so appalling, I couldn't resist!

http://www.whoguide.com/goody01.html

Robot's Lament

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 17:50:47 GMT

Starts crap but goes acid.

Lyrics and noise, written and composed by yours truly.

Robot's Lament

Conversation

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 01:06:36 GMT

Okay, weird ass conversation with a surreal co-worker/friend.
Saw them outside the building and said -

"Heya! You back from vacation?"

"Yeah."

"You go off the France, skiing?"

"Huh? No, no. I told my boss I was going on a skiing holiday in France.
So you heard that from him?"

"Uh huh. Umm...so where did you really go?"

"Nowhere. I just smoked crack and watched Voltron with my girlfriend."

"Like for a whole week?"

"Yeah. We watched some Tranzor Z, some Robotech, but mostly Voltron."

"I used to love Voltron. I haven't seen that in ages!! And I love Robotech,
when the Zentradi try to use kissing as a weapon against humanity. HILARIOUS.
Also the inter-war period looked pretty cool, when the first human and
Zentradi got married."

"Yeah, that's good. My favorite is the Lion Voltron."

"Cool. Yeah. I love that one too, but I also liked it when they became
vehicles. Anyway, I gotta go home. Say hi to Lisa for me."

Part of me thinks -

"Man that is fucked up to just smoke crack and watch giant robot cartoons for a week!!"

Another part of me thinks -

"Man, I wish I had a girlfriend who would just watch giant robot cartoons with me for a week!"

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 21:16:44 GMT

Got a nudge that I've been quiet for awhile.
When I have more time I'll write out a confused rant here.

Till then - enjoy!

UK Graffiti

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 22:25:59 GMT

Been too long since I posted any graffiti!!

Cool Homo Sapien # 1

Sun, 24 Sep 2006 00:18:39 GMT

Okay, here's the deal. Every so often, when I can be bothered, I'll introduce you to someone who I think you might care about if you got to know them a little better.

If you read the whole thing, I'll always try to give you a little treat too.
For the first several, I'm probably gunna focus on musicians.

Okay, let's begin -

Sometimes an artist's fame isn't at all in proportion to their contribution to society.

There are tons of famous musicians who are very competent in what they do and very good at self-promotion, who aren't really moving the ball forward.

There are also a few musicians who have been intensely influential, but haven't recieved great recognition.

One person I want to bring to your attention from the latter category is this guy, Juan Atkins.

Juan Atkins was inspired by the sounds made possible by synthesizers, which were being marketted at the time as educational aids for guitar players. The companies that sold synthesizers just saw them as a way for guitarists to have bass accompaniment while practicing alone).

Juan Atkins explored the capabilities of the machines and called his music "techno".

Since then techno has split into more genres and subgenres than I can count, and whether you love techno or hate it....SHIT...it's really made an impact. From insane underground raves, to film scores, and beer commericals, it's reached out everywhere.

I had an absolute blast when I saw Juan Atkins live in London back in February.

The dude is pure energy.

The first song to include the word "techno" was Juan Atkins' "Techno City".

It's MASSIVELY old school.

It's so old school that hardcore techno fans say that it's not even technically techno, they say it's actually electro.

But umm...Juan invented it man, so I'm going with him.

Anyway, if you want to get a retro-hit of some serious old skool shit,
here is what started it all

Going down?

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 17:28:45 GMT